Recognising Romance Scams
Learn how to spot someone who is pretending to be a friend or partner online in order to steal money.
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Start with the first step, try it on your own device, and use the next-step section at the end if you want a clear follow-on guide.
Guide details and who this is for
Guide details
- Published
- February 1, 2025
- Country scope
- Global
Who this is for
Best for anyone checking whether a message, website, payment, or request is safe.
Be careful
Pause if anything asks for passwords, OTP codes, money transfers, or urgent action. Real organisations do not need you to panic to prove they are genuine.
Before you begin
What this guide helps you do
This guide shows the main warning signs to check before you click, reply, log in, share details, or pay.
Best time to use it
Use it when something feels urgent, unusual, or asks for personal information, codes, or money.
Common mistake to avoid
Do not act while pressured. Slow down first, then verify the sender, website, or request.
Helpful tech words
Open a plain-English term first if you need it
Phishing
A trick where someone pretends to be a trusted company or person — like your bank, CPF Board, or the police — to steal your passwords or personal details. It usually comes as a fake SMS, email, or phone call.
OTP (One-Time Password)
A temporary code sent to your phone or email that can only be used once for a single login or transaction.
Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
A security step that asks you to prove who you are in two ways — usually your password plus a code sent to your phone. It makes your accounts much harder to break into.
What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam is when someone pretends to be interested in a romantic or close friendship online, builds trust over weeks or months, and then asks for money. These scams can cause severe financial and emotional harm.
Victims are often widowed or divorced individuals who are lonely and genuinely believe they have found a caring friend or partner.
How romance scams develop
Stage 1: First contact The scammer contacts you on Facebook, dating apps, WhatsApp, or Instagram. They are often an attractive professional — an engineer, doctor, soldier, or businessman.
Stage 2: Building trust (weeks to months) They message you daily. They are kind, attentive, and interested in your life. They share stories about themselves and send photos (which are stolen from real people’s profiles). They may send small gifts.
Stage 3: The problem Just when the friendship feels strong, a crisis appears:
- They are stuck overseas and their wallet was stolen.
- They have a business deal that needs a small loan.
- There is a medical emergency.
- They have a big investment opportunity “just for you”.
Stage 4: The request for money They ask you to send money via instant bank transfer, bank transfer, or gift cards (iTunes, Google Play). They promise to repay you. They never do.
Warning signs
- You have never met them in person despite months of chatting.
- They always have an excuse to avoid video calls.
- They work in a profession that keeps them overseas (military, oil rig, engineer, doctor with Doctors Without Borders).
- They declare love or deep affection very quickly.
- They ask for money, however small the amount.
What to do if you suspect a romance scam
- Stop sending money immediately — no matter what story you hear.
- Do not feel embarrassed — scammers are professional manipulators. This happens to smart, sensible people.
- Talk to someone you trust — a family member or close friend.
- Report it: Your national anti-scam helpline or official scam-reporting portal.
- Contact your bank to try and stop any recent transfers.
Getting emotional support
Being the victim of a romance scam can be devastating. The National Care Hotline offers free, confidential support: 1800 202 6868 (24 hours, 7 days a week).
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